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Redneck Jokes

Are you looking for really funny redneck jokes that will make you laugh out loud? Remember that the redneck term is mostly used to describe racism and ignorance. However, some people lovingly adopt this term to describe themselves as proud, Bible-believing, and hardworking.

You will get more ideas of redneck jokes when you will read them on our website where the funniest redneck jokes are available in the form of puns, liners, and regular ol' jokes.

We did our best to bring you only the best ones.

Latest Redneck Jokes

Hillbilly Valentine

Kudzu is green, My dog’s name is Blue, And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk, A-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue’s, And without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, Which excite me in May. You ain’t got no scales, But I luv you anyway.

You’re as graceful as okry, Jist a-dancin’ in the pan. Yo’re as fragrant as SunDrop, Right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, For which I am proud; I hold my head high when we’re in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits, Well, I’m in hawg heaven!

I’m plumb outta my wits. And speakin’ of wits, You’ve got plenty fer shore. ‘Cuz you married me, back in ’74.

Still them fellers at work, They all want to know, What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, Yo’re there fer yore man, To patch up life’s troubles, And stick ’em in the can.

Yo’re as strong as a four-wheeler, Racin’ through the mud, Yet fragile as that sanger, Named Naomi Judd.

Yo’re as cute as a junebug, A-buzzin’ overhead. You ain’t mean like no far ant, Upon which I oft’ tread.

Cut from the best pattern, Like a flannel shirt of plaid, You sparked up my life, Like a Rattletrap shad.

When you hold me real tight, Like a padded gunrack, My life is complete; Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.

Yore complexion, it’s perfection, Like the best vinyl sidin’. Despite all the years, Yore age, it keeps hidin’.

And when you get old, Like a ’57 Chevy, Won’t put you on blocks, And let grass grow up heavy.

Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie, With a RC cold drank, We go together; Like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate, For Valentine’s Day; They git it at Wal-Mart; It’s romantic that way.

Some men git roses, On that special day From the cooler at Kroger; “That’s impressive,” I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds, From a flea market booth. “Diamonds are forever,” They explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, These will not do. For you are too special, You sweet thang you.

Smile

You might be a redneck if your jack-o lantern on your porch has more teeth than you do.

Comin’ ‘Cross the Ohio River

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, ”Buddy, I’d sure like to be on your side of the river!”

”Aight, tell ya whut, I’ll shine my flashlight ‘cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!” the redneck yelled back.

The buckeye replied, ”Hain’t no way, buddy. I know you think I’m a fool! When I get halfway ‘cross, you’ll turn your flashlight off!”

Redneck Hotel

You know you’re in a redneck hotel when you phone the front office and say, “I’ve got a leak in the sink.”

And they say, “Go ahead!”