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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

The Student

A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam.”

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean,” she whispers, “I would do anything.”

He returns her gaze. “Anything?”

“Anything.”

His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you… study?”

Latest Student Jokes

Ph.D.

After 12 long, difficult years of study, my daughter finally earned her Ph.D. On the night of her graduation, we celebrated at an exclusive restaurant. “Honey,” I said, raising a glass in her direction, “we are so happy for.”
“Thanks, Dad,” my daughter replied. “But from now on, it will be Doctor honey.”

Needs Money!”

Dear Father,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

After receiving his son’s letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

Idiot’s Rise

A sarcastic teacher asked his class, “If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?” After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

“Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.

“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

The Student

A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam.”

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean,” she whispers, “I would do anything.”

He returns her gaze. “Anything?”

“Anything.”

His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you… study?”

Gradinig Essays

A professor was grading the essay finals he had just given his class and opened the exam book of a failing student to reveal blank pages and a $100 bill. The only thing written in the book was “$100 = 100% – I get an A.”

A month later, the student approached the professor. “I don’t understand,” he said. “I failed the course. Didn’t you read my final?” The professor handed the student the exam book.

The student opened it to reveal $50 and the phrase “$50 = 50% – You fail!”