Running Turkey

Q: What do you call a running turkey?
A: Fast food!

Cornucopia Comedy

Q: Why did the cranberries turn red?
A: Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Feast Funnies

Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play!

Pumpkin Pie Puns

Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth!

Cranberry Chuckles

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Pilgrim Puns

Q: Why did the Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
A: Because their belt buckles were on their hats!

Chatter of the Turkeys

Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?
A: “Google, google, google!”

Football Frenzy

Why don’t football players go to the Thanksgiving dinner?

Because they’re afraid of getting stuffed!

Vegetable Variety Show

Why did the green beans win the talent show?

Because they had the best ‘canned’ routine!

Gravy Boat Voyage

Why did the gravy boat file a police report?

Because it got mugged on Thanksgiving Day!

Cranberry Comedy

Why don’t cranberries go out on Black Friday?

Because they’re afraid of getting canned!

Pumpkin Pie Predicament

Why do pies go to therapy after Thanksgiving?

Because they get a slice of life!

Turkey Talk

Why did the turkey join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks!

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

A: Fangsgiving…

Thanksgiving Turkey

One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, “He gave you the bird!”