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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Toy soldiers

John’s Father brought home new soldiers but they can’t fight, why? “They were all toy soldiers”

Latest Veterans Day Jokes

Cool breeze

A new soldier joining the troops today stopped the propeller halfway thinking it causes the cool breeze which is too much for everyone.

Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?

“Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?”
I smiled and said, “Our captain charge $30 per bullet missing the targets (enemy) perhaps I only managed to save $30 this year”

Reject

An Army officer who always took a bribe and got dismissed yesterday was asked to say what ARMY stands for. But to everyone’s surprise, this man said, “Air(Force) Rejected Me Yesterday”.

Why the sailors can’t play cards?

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.

What will you do?

Because Dave’s late Uncle is a soldier, so he dreamt to be a soldier. This annoys Dave’s dad and made him ask Dave, “Imagine you are in a camp surrounded by enemies and you are sleeping with C4 (bombs) around you, what will you do?”

Dave answered and said, “I will stop imagining instantly”.