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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

What will you do?

Because Dave’s late Uncle is a soldier, so he dreamt to be a soldier. This annoys Dave’s dad and made him ask Dave, “Imagine you are in a camp surrounded by enemies and you are sleeping with C4 (bombs) around you, what will you do?”

Dave answered and said, “I will stop imagining instantly”.

Latest Veterans Day Jokes

What will you do?

Because Dave’s late Uncle is a soldier, so he dreamt to be a soldier. This annoys Dave’s dad and made him ask Dave, “Imagine you are in a camp surrounded by enemies and you are sleeping with C4 (bombs) around you, what will you do?”

Dave answered and said, “I will stop imagining instantly”.

Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?

“Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?”
I smiled and said, “Our captain charge $30 per bullet missing the targets (enemy) perhaps I only managed to save $30 this year”

Reject

An Army officer who always took a bribe and got dismissed yesterday was asked to say what ARMY stands for. But to everyone’s surprise, this man said, “Air(Force) Rejected Me Yesterday”.

Why the sailors can’t play cards?

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.

March

My uncle won’t be happy when it is next month but my friend didn’t understand me so I said, “All troops hate it as well because it will be March”.