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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

What will you do?

Because Dave’s late Uncle is a soldier, so he dreamt to be a soldier. This annoys Dave’s dad and made him ask Dave, “Imagine you are in a camp surrounded by enemies and you are sleeping with C4 (bombs) around you, what will you do?”

Dave answered and said, “I will stop imagining instantly”.

Latest Veterans Day Jokes

March

My uncle won’t be happy when it is next month but my friend didn’t understand me so I said, “All troops hate it as well because it will be March”.

Why the sailors can’t play cards?

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.

How many guns do you need for a gunfight?

A General asks his comrades “how many guns do you need for a gunfight?”

“Two”, comrades replied.

“Why two?” the general asked. “One gun for us to shoot at enemies and another gun for our enemy to shoot back at us”

What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?

My Dad, who was a retired soldier, asks me, “What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?”

I could remember vividly we have A1, B2, B3, C4, C5, C6, D7, F9 while in school but they only got to have only C4 in the military so I answered and said, “C4”.

Cool breeze

A new soldier joining the troops today stopped the propeller halfway thinking it causes the cool breeze which is too much for everyone.