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Funny Jokes

The largest collection of jokes.

Why the sailors can’t play cards?

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.

Latest Veterans Day Jokes

Toy soldiers

John’s Father brought home new soldiers but they can’t fight, why? “They were all toy soldiers”

Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?

“Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?”
I smiled and said, “Our captain charge $30 per bullet missing the targets (enemy) perhaps I only managed to save $30 this year”

How many guns do you need for a gunfight?

A General asks his comrades “how many guns do you need for a gunfight?”

“Two”, comrades replied.

“Why two?” the general asked. “One gun for us to shoot at enemies and another gun for our enemy to shoot back at us”

What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?

My Dad, who was a retired soldier, asks me, “What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?”

I could remember vividly we have A1, B2, B3, C4, C5, C6, D7, F9 while in school but they only got to have only C4 in the military so I answered and said, “C4”.

Why the sailors can’t play cards?

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.