A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.
The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we’re afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I’m sorry….we can’t hire you.”
“But wait,” said the applicant. “If I take two aspirin, I’ll stop winking!”
At this the interviewer exclaimed,”Really? Great! Show me!”
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms, finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
“Well,” said the interviewer, “that’s all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanising all over the country!”
“Womanising? What do you mean? I’m a happily married man!”
“Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?”
I’m The Boss
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:
“I’m the Boss!”
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
“Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”
How To Get A Raise
A boss tells his new employee, “I’ll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I’ll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?”
“In 3 months.”
Two men working in a facory were talking. “I know how to get some time off,” said one.
“How are you going to do that?”
“Watch,” he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied.”I’m a lightbulb.”
“I think you need some time off,” the foreman said said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” the foreman shouted.
“I can’t work in the dark,” he said.
Secret of Business
The store owner teaches a new employee the secret of business:
“You should know that you cannot let customers leave without buying anything just because our store does not have the brands that they wants. You must recommend- and sell them substitutes.
“One day the employee is in the store and a customer comes in.
“I want to buy toilet papers.”
“Sorry. We’re just out of them.” Remembering what his boss told him, however, he quickly adds, “But we do have high- quality sand paper.”